


Should I tear my heart out now?

by jperalta



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-14 04:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20594795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jperalta/pseuds/jperalta
Summary: Since I love Babysitter Steve and since Will is so fragile, here's a story about Steve trying to comfort Will as he has a panic attack.





	Should I tear my heart out now?

Everyone was gathered in Mike's basement, and Steve found his fingers tapping. Mike and Max were arguing again over Ele - who should have a say in what she does, or if anyone should have a say at all. Everyone seemed to have some input. His eyes wandered around the room and he saw Will leaning against the wall, a bit of sweat forming at the top of his forehead. Steve's eyes narrowed in concern. He saw Will picking at the dead skin around his fingernails, his eye twitching as he appeared to struggle to stand upright.

Steve walked over to Will, trying to appear as casual as possible. Will flinched, seemingly surprised that someone was standing in front of him. “Will,” Steve said softly, “can I talk to you for a minute in the other room?” Will ran his shaking hand through his hair, self-conscious of the sweat that had formed. He looked at his palm. Steve could tell something wasn’t right. “Just for a bit,” he said, trying to reassure Will.

The two of them walked into another room and Steve closed the door then gestured to an oversized chair. “Sit down, Will.” Will brought his shaking limbs over to the chair and sunk into it, curling his legs inwards towards himself. He looked so small, smaller than usual, shrunk into the corner of the massive brown chair, his hair sticking to his forehead. “Can you tell me what’s going on?” Steve asked calmly.

But Will snapped. “Tell you what’s going on? You asked me to come in here! Why don’t you tell me?” Tears were coming out of his eyes now and he tried to wipe them away before Steve could see, but they kept coming.

Steve squatted and sat on an overturned milk crate, steadying his own limbs. “I just wanted to get you out of that room. You didn’t look like you were enjoying yourself in there.”

Will let out another small sob as he clutched his legs tightly, slightly digging his nails into his skin. “I don’t know what’s happening,” Will whispered, almost as if to himself. 

“Do you have asthma?”

Will shook his head. “No.”

“Any heart problems or anything?”

“Not that I can think of,” Will shook his head again as he said this. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m dying. Am I having a heart attack?”

Steve went to put his hand onto Will’s shoulder but Will shrugged away. He brought his hands back to himself and folded his arms across his chest. “No, I don’t think so.” Will cried more, gasping for air. “Just try to slow your breathing.”

“I can’t.”

“Just - you have to try. Close your eyes. Count to ten slowly. Try to focus as much as you can.” Will tried to curl himself into a smaller ball. Steve could see his knuckles turning white and the color draining from his cheeks. He wanted to help him as much as he could, but he knew he wasn’t a doctor. “Do you want me to leave?”

Will took in a big breath of air. “No, please don’t.”

“Okay, I won’t. I’m staying. I’m here if you want to talk.”

Will continued taking in deep breaths, going slowly but still clearly shaking. All Steve could do was look at him. He wanted to hold him but he knew Will wouldn’t want that. He avoided the urge to sit on his hands as he found they were also shaking. His eyes wandered around the room as he tried to find anything that could possibly help Will, but he came up with nothing - only more time. Steve bowed his head and they sat together in silence, the only sounds being Will’s shaky breath mixed with his sobs - all of it getting less intense as time progressed.

After about ten minutes, Will let out a big sigh and Steve looked up. He saw that Will’s eyes were red and puffy, but he wasn’t crying anymore. 

Steve made a small thumbs up with his hand. “Are you doing okay?” He asked.

Will nodded. “I think it’s over.”

“Does that happen a lot?”

“I guess,” Will said, letting his legs stretch out. His feet hardly reached the end of the seat on the chair. “Sometimes it’s not as bad. Sometimes I just…” The two of them caught each other’s gazes and then immediately looked away from each other. “I don’t know what it is. Maybe something left from…” His fingers begin to pick at a tear in his jeans. “I don’t know. Thanks, though.”

Steve looked up at Will again and he saw the fear in his eyes. “I think you should talk to someone, Will.”

“About what?” Will said, somewhat startled. No one had ever suggested that to him before.

“About this. I - if you’re getting panic attacks --”

“Wait - is that what this was? Or what these are?”

Steve wanted to cry himself but he held it back. “I - I think so. I mean, I’m not a doctor, but…” Will looked so confused, and he just wanted to help. “Listen, when Nancy and I first broke up, I…” He paused as he remembered all the pain, the self-doubt, the aching feeling that everything he had ever done or believed in was a mistake. He looked at his hands and stared at the lines in his fingertips. “I started to get them, so I know what they look like. That’s why I wanted to get--”

“To get me out of there.” Will finished. He wiped his face again. “Thank you, really.”

“You really should talk to someone. You don’t have to say the specifics of why, just what happens. See if they can do anything.”

“Is that what you do?”

Steve bowed his head again. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to say that everything was all better for him now, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie. “No, but I’ve… been meaning to.”

Will scooted himself to the edge of the chair. “Well, I will if you will.”

Steve smiled as he stood up and held out his hand. “It’s a deal.” Will smiled back as he grabbed Steve’s hand and jumped off the chair.

**Author's Note:**

> Song Title: "The Only Thing" by Sufjan Stevens


End file.
